Halloween Haunting 3 - MICHAEL'S Part A

And now we get to the granddaddy of early pumpkin sightings; the Spirited Samhain King, the undisputed heavy-weight champion of July trick or treating. That's right, I'm talking about the venerable Halloween hero: Michael's

Shortly after July 4 (by shortly, I actually mean July 5), I go on the prowl. Michael's never disappoints. In most of the country, it may be 101 and freaking asphalt is melting into the soles of your shoes, but in this wonderful land that smells of silk flowers and a heavenly mixture of candles and essential oils, the chilling breezes of October flit and flirt with the hairs on the back of your neck.

It usually only begins with a row of orange and red leaves and maybe a pumpkin or two. But as July creeps forward, other... things.... begin to invade.

Now it's August, and in Michael's, it's already the eve of All Hallows.

The sign on the table may say "Back to School", but in the distance, I can hear the creaks and groans of Spooky Town.

Now the first aisle is fairly innocuous. I think that's because they don't want to scare all the unsuspecting housewives and grannies who are under the foolish impression that it's still summer out there. 

"Oh, look, Agnes, cute little fall pumpkins!"

"Yes, Joyce, those would look fabulous on the entry hutch!"

Then they turn the corner and, 

"GAH! Halloween! It's much too early, Agnes!"

"I couldn't agree more, Joyce! It comes earlier every year! Can't they enjoy one season at a time? Heavens to Betsy!"

Yes, I know that conversation takes place literally millions of times, in Michael's all over the country. But we're not like that, are we friends? No, we are blessing the harvest and sharpening the carving knife because we know that if we don't demand Halloween in July, then Christmas will butt its green and red head in before we can say, "Great Pumpkin"!

In fact, there was already some peaking through the haunted house window...

But let's not let the negativity seep in. I agree with those ladies, one holiday at a time, please. We're not here to talk about Ol' Saint Nick. We're here to talk about autumn string lights. See?

Now I like the idea of a glass dome over leaves and lights as much as the next ghoul, but $14.99? That seems a bit excessive, doesn't it? Michael's has a great selection, but the executive staff seem to be under the mistaken assumption that the majority of its customers are Bill Gates. 

Seriously.

Just wait until you get a load of those Spooky Town prices...

So like I said, the first row or two is mainly cutesy fall stuff like scarecrows, foliage, and miniature pumpkin fairy houses.

 But you turn the corner and... jackpot, baby! It's this year's first sighting of fake spider webs, rubber chains, and severed limbs. SCORE!

There was even a stack of plastic cauldrons.

I also spotted a new product. This may have been out last year, but I don't remember seeing it.

What the hay?

No, seriously. I've never heard of orange and black Halloween hay. What do you do with it?

Oh. Baskets, displays, crafts, and costumes? Hmmm. Sounds versatile. I better pick some up.

Across the aisle was something else I hadn't seen before. New this year are Halloween shadow boxes.

 They had these haunted houses, but they also had pumpkins and a few other types. 

Someone had put up a nifty poster, explaining how to use them.

So, basically, you take this hollowed out pumpkin, or house, or whatever, and then you make a diorama, kind of like those sugar eggs you get at Easter. 

Cool!

I had heard of these from the Dinosaur Dracula message boards. But now I have seen them and let me tell you, they are awesome! They have little houses and trees and places that all light up with small LED lights and are powered by watch batteries.

You can make just about any scene.

Then you populate them with mini figs, to add some character, (see what I did there?)

 

I'm definitely going to make one of these, this year. Every piece costs roughly the same amount as the gross domestic product of the country of Moldova, but I somehow feel it is worth it for complete indulgence and holiday cheer.

Past our chains and spider webs, we get to some more spooky props. We have crime scene tape, gell bloody hand prints and splatters, and changing photos.

I've always enjoyed seeing those photos in the stores, but for some reason, I never have wanted to own one. Maybe I'm scared that I'll get up to pee in the middle of the night some night and something will reach out of the frame. They kinda freak me out, especially the one with the scary little babies. 

 

 Michael's affectionately refers to this aisle as the "Boneyard" *

And we are still not done. You think we are, but we aren't. Because now we have carvable pumpkins, and candles. That's right, you can carve your fake pumpkin, and then fool people into thinking it's real with a pumpkin scented candle.

One of the first candles that I stumbled upon was Matt from DinoDrac's favorite new candle this year: Pumpkin Spiced Chai.

Holy Toledo, is this candle swell! I've had this sucker burning since early July, when it was on sale for $3.99. Now it's closer to 5 bucks (or 4 for $10), and if you've ever been to Yankee Candle, you'll know that's a Hades of a bargain.

I'm burning this thing right now, and listening to Halloween Party Radio on Pandora, and let me tell you, it's full-on October in here.

 Alright. It's finally time to head on over to Spooky Town. I think I'm going to end this post here and do a part two. There's just too much to cover and I'm afraid of getting reader burnout. We will end this here and have the second part up soon. In the meantime, happy haunting!

* No one calls it that.