Halloween Haunting 3 - MICHAEL'S Part A

And now we get to the granddaddy of early pumpkin sightings; the Spirited Samhain King, the undisputed heavy-weight champion of July trick or treating. That's right, I'm talking about the venerable Halloween hero: Michael's

Shortly after July 4 (by shortly, I actually mean July 5), I go on the prowl. Michael's never disappoints. In most of the country, it may be 101 and freaking asphalt is melting into the soles of your shoes, but in this wonderful land that smells of silk flowers and a heavenly mixture of candles and essential oils, the chilling breezes of October flit and flirt with the hairs on the back of your neck.

It usually only begins with a row of orange and red leaves and maybe a pumpkin or two. But as July creeps forward, other... things.... begin to invade.

Now it's August, and in Michael's, it's already the eve of All Hallows.

The sign on the table may say "Back to School", but in the distance, I can hear the creaks and groans of Spooky Town.

Now the first aisle is fairly innocuous. I think that's because they don't want to scare all the unsuspecting housewives and grannies who are under the foolish impression that it's still summer out there. 

"Oh, look, Agnes, cute little fall pumpkins!"

"Yes, Joyce, those would look fabulous on the entry hutch!"

Then they turn the corner and, 

"GAH! Halloween! It's much too early, Agnes!"

"I couldn't agree more, Joyce! It comes earlier every year! Can't they enjoy one season at a time? Heavens to Betsy!"

Yes, I know that conversation takes place literally millions of times, in Michael's all over the country. But we're not like that, are we friends? No, we are blessing the harvest and sharpening the carving knife because we know that if we don't demand Halloween in July, then Christmas will butt its green and red head in before we can say, "Great Pumpkin"!

In fact, there was already some peaking through the haunted house window...

But let's not let the negativity seep in. I agree with those ladies, one holiday at a time, please. We're not here to talk about Ol' Saint Nick. We're here to talk about autumn string lights. See?

Now I like the idea of a glass dome over leaves and lights as much as the next ghoul, but $14.99? That seems a bit excessive, doesn't it? Michael's has a great selection, but the executive staff seem to be under the mistaken assumption that the majority of its customers are Bill Gates. 

Seriously.

Just wait until you get a load of those Spooky Town prices...

So like I said, the first row or two is mainly cutesy fall stuff like scarecrows, foliage, and miniature pumpkin fairy houses.

 But you turn the corner and... jackpot, baby! It's this year's first sighting of fake spider webs, rubber chains, and severed limbs. SCORE!

There was even a stack of plastic cauldrons.

I also spotted a new product. This may have been out last year, but I don't remember seeing it.

What the hay?

No, seriously. I've never heard of orange and black Halloween hay. What do you do with it?

Oh. Baskets, displays, crafts, and costumes? Hmmm. Sounds versatile. I better pick some up.

Across the aisle was something else I hadn't seen before. New this year are Halloween shadow boxes.

 They had these haunted houses, but they also had pumpkins and a few other types. 

Someone had put up a nifty poster, explaining how to use them.

So, basically, you take this hollowed out pumpkin, or house, or whatever, and then you make a diorama, kind of like those sugar eggs you get at Easter. 

Cool!

I had heard of these from the Dinosaur Dracula message boards. But now I have seen them and let me tell you, they are awesome! They have little houses and trees and places that all light up with small LED lights and are powered by watch batteries.

You can make just about any scene.

Then you populate them with mini figs, to add some character, (see what I did there?)

 

I'm definitely going to make one of these, this year. Every piece costs roughly the same amount as the gross domestic product of the country of Moldova, but I somehow feel it is worth it for complete indulgence and holiday cheer.

Past our chains and spider webs, we get to some more spooky props. We have crime scene tape, gell bloody hand prints and splatters, and changing photos.

I've always enjoyed seeing those photos in the stores, but for some reason, I never have wanted to own one. Maybe I'm scared that I'll get up to pee in the middle of the night some night and something will reach out of the frame. They kinda freak me out, especially the one with the scary little babies. 

 

 Michael's affectionately refers to this aisle as the "Boneyard" *

And we are still not done. You think we are, but we aren't. Because now we have carvable pumpkins, and candles. That's right, you can carve your fake pumpkin, and then fool people into thinking it's real with a pumpkin scented candle.

One of the first candles that I stumbled upon was Matt from DinoDrac's favorite new candle this year: Pumpkin Spiced Chai.

Holy Toledo, is this candle swell! I've had this sucker burning since early July, when it was on sale for $3.99. Now it's closer to 5 bucks (or 4 for $10), and if you've ever been to Yankee Candle, you'll know that's a Hades of a bargain.

I'm burning this thing right now, and listening to Halloween Party Radio on Pandora, and let me tell you, it's full-on October in here.

 Alright. It's finally time to head on over to Spooky Town. I think I'm going to end this post here and do a part two. There's just too much to cover and I'm afraid of getting reader burnout. We will end this here and have the second part up soon. In the meantime, happy haunting!

* No one calls it that.

I Saw This Today and it Made Me So Happy...

This Is How I Like To Greet My Wife When She Comes Down In The Basement In The Dark...

It's my daughter's full size Barbie. Ol' Captain Kirk/Michael Myers fits her like a glove...

Halloween Haunting 2 - JoAnn Fabrics

So this is actually why I went out today. JoAnn Fabrics is one of the many craft stores. Similar to a Hobby Lobby or Michael's, JoAnn's usually has some pretty good Halloween stuff.

I have gone a couple time this year, and they have been remarkably slow at getting their stock out. But today was the day, as you can see below.

First up: Pumpkins.

The store had a ton of pumpkins. There were ceramic pumpkins, soap pumpkins, wood pumpkins, carving pumpkins, fabric pumpkins... Sheesh, I'm sounding like Bubba from Forest Gump. 

Then there were these little beauties. Can you tell what they're made from?




That's right, freakin' feathers! What?!? Never heard of feather pumpkins. It sounds like something that would be chucked at Spiderman by a Vulture/Green Goblin hybrid. How many birds did they have to kill to makes these things, anyway?

From there, they had the obligatory general fall merchandise, sprinkled with a bit of Thanksgiving. They tried to be upscale, but were unable to reach the heights of Kirkland's.

 

However, they did have some cool mini hay bales. But $8.99, are they outa their minds?

 I love how they have an ad for gift cards right above a selection of seasonal socks. Not only that, but the socks were 25% off. Bonus, right?

Perhaps the greatest find of the day were these scented soaps. The ghosts, in particular, had an amazing mixture of fall and vanilla. I know those two aromas don't sound particularly complementary, but I'll tell you, they were great.

 I was tempted to picking up the ghost and one of the shimmery pumpkins, but they were $5.99 each, so I resisted. That turned out to be a wonderful instinctual thing, because I found the exact same dispensers, with the exact same fragrances at Big Lots later, for 2 bucks! Score!

There were some other cool finds, like these reflective flowers and corn, and I particularly liked this stack of black cats...

But the coolest thing I found was probably these paintable plaster of Paris body parts. The Mexican Dios de la Muerte skulls with the purple "Paint Me!" stickers on them. As if I needed any more prompting...

I was puzzled about one thing, though. How, exactly, am I supposed to paint these torsos? They were women's busts and they were right next to grasping hands. This made me feel a bit Hallowpervy, but I must admit, I was kind of tempted to get one.

 As I left the store, I saw one last amazing treat. I gotta have this skeleton chalk board. Just imagine all the fun you can have with this guy1

Adios, Jo-Ann. Thanks for celebrating the season like a pro!

Halloween Haunting 1 - KIRKLAND'S

Alright! Now that we're into August, we can officially hunt for Halloween stuff in the stores. Today, I took a little jaunt around town, trying to see what kind of autumnal deliciousness I could discover. I had planned on just running into some craft stores while doing some other errands, but that quickly changed. 

The day started perfectly because even though it was August 3, it was a balmy 65 degrees, and overcast. And that's when I saw Kirkland's, which is always a great source of early tricks and treats.

I actually hadn't planned on going to Kirkland's because I didn't think they'd have their stuff out, yet. I was headed over to Jo-Anne Fabrics, which we will get to in the next post.

But then something orange and red caught the corner of my bloodshot eyes (bloodshot because I drank too much Zima last night. Hey, I was in a 90's mood, what can I say?). 

The flash of color were wreaths on the Kirkland's doors. After further inspection, I saw the signs and they opened up my eyes, I saw the signs. 

Instantly, I knew I had to investigate, and boy was I happy I did! Kirkland's was a virtual treasure chest of orange and black.

Upon entering, I was greeted with this:

 


I could feel the familiar tingle and chill start pumping in my veins. But I was in no way prepared for what I found. This place was a Halloween jack o' pot!

They had candles, and pumpkins, and skeletons, oh, my! 

It's kind of hard to see because it was a backlit, but the stack below are all pumpkins with initials carved into them and lit with flickering LED candles. 

This eerie collection reminded me of my dear o' mummy. It's the kind of classy "country" decorations you remember from your rich uncle's house. This display made me want to shuck some corn and strum a banjo. 

My dad used to carve wooden characters kind of like this. It instantly put me in the mood for full moons and witches on broomsticks. I swore I actually heard a thunderstorm outside.

And how adorable is this? Man's best friend dressed like his worst enemies. I love the trick or treat pumpkins.

Kirkland's is not where you want to go for gore and horror. All the decorations and mood-setters are definitely more classy than your average Walmart frights.

 

 

They had some cool artwork. It was all printed on canvas and had lights in them. I wanted one, but the cheapest was around $30.

They had numerous pieces of art, and metallic shimmering pumpkins. It's the kind of decorations you'd expect at Allison's House from the movie, Hocus Pocus (which by the way has a great soundtrack that we'll cover in a future post).

 

Finally, we got to my favorite part of any Halloween shop - the scents and snacks area. They had some great candles, some amazing liquid soaps, and some coffee, cider, and hot chocolate supplies. Seriously, the place smelled like Hallowheaven!

 There was tons of other stuff, but I don't have time to get into the rest, because we have to motor over to JoAnn Fabrics. But I did notice something interesting on the way out...

 ... Kirkland's is proud of their costumed dogs. In case you couldn't afford one of the big ones, they had a tchotchke corner and you could pick up a miniature sized one for your shelf. Tell me you don't want a tiny Scottie in a candy-corn witches hat, and I'll call you a liar to your face.  

I did end up buying some aroma satchels. They were full of potpourri and essential oils. The lady at the register told me they would last for a few months. I got Apple Blossom (which smells of apples, cinnamon, and cloves), Autumn Breeze (which smells of clove, nutmeg, cinnamon, and leaves), and Pumpkin Spices (which smells of pumpkin, vanilla, sugar, and spices). They made my car smell like a fall bakery, which was A-Ok with me.

Alright. That's stop number one. Find a Kirkland's near you and check it out. I'll leave you with a pic of a creepy carnival because, why not?