Making Cookies...

So, I fully understand that some of you nuts out there think these cookies taste like silly putty mixed with playdough. I also stand by the assertion that if you think this, you are nuts.

These are the quintessential store-bougbt Halloween cookies. They are simple, festive, and delicious. I look forward to them every year.

What's not to love about perfect pegs of dough painted with pumpkins?

Just plop the dough onto your cookie sheet and while you wait for them to plump and brown, you can cut out the mask on the back and scare your dogs with it.

These things were made for Halloween. They are insanely addictive. You can't help but eat the entire batch.

And you'd better. Because if they sit for longer than one night, you could use them for hockey - which isn't really a Halloween sport unless you're Canadian.

Anyway, come on over. I'll pour some milk or apple cider and we can sit on the back porch and chow down. 

I'll keep 'em warm and fresh for you.

M&M's Cookies and Screeem

Some days start off rough and tumbly and then you walk into your favorite store and find something new and suddenly, everything seems right and good in the world. 

Such is the case, today...

Introducing M&M's Cookies and Screeem!

Now, I know these are all over the web, but they aren't out at most stores. They were out at my local Target, so I felt the need to review them. 

First, why is it that I never realized that it's not M&Ms, rather it is M&M's? I never noticed the apostrophe. I did not realize that M&M's were possessive. Now you could call me a bad consumer, and I certainly wouldn't with you on that note. But I have to ask, how many of you noticed the apostrophe?

It turns out that Forrest Mars (of Mars bars fame) made a plan with William Murrie, the then president of a little company called Hershey. He wanted to make a candy-coated chocolate and needed Hershey's to provide the goods. Thus, M&M's stands for Mars and Murrie's. The exact title is M&M's chocolate candies.

Why didn't they use Mars' own recipe for chocolate? Simple. He didn't have one. He was inspired by a British candy called Smarties that are candy coated chocolate discs.

But what about these M&M's?

Right away, you know you are getting something special. The moment you open the bag, your nose screams OREOS! 

No, these aren't Oreo flavored, they are cookie and cream. But,  everyone knows that cookies and cream means Oreo.  Nobody looks at a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream and thinks, "Hey, this must be Hydrox* flavored.

The candies that come out of the bag look kind of like old malted milk balls that might have been sucked on a bit. They almost resemble moldy chocolates. 

Once you bite into them, they are nice mixture of candy shell, a dark chocolate layer, and then the creme from the cookies. The taste is generic cookies and cream, but there is something compelling about them. Let's just say that my bag is currently half-full**.

The flavor is yummy. The smell is divine. And this is a fabulous new addition to Halloween 2017.

*You can find out all about Hydrox, here.
**What can I say, I'm an optimist. 

Target....

So today I went to Target and... It has begun!

I stumbled through the aisles, searching for some kind of nutritious snack to get me through the mid-afternoon slumps, when I stumbled upon a glorious sight that filled my eyes with joyous tears and caused an audible sigh to be flung from my throat with the force of the old model rockets I used to build in 4-H*.

That's right, they were putting out the Halloween stuff! 

Now much has been said about fabrics stores and craft nooks, but they are expected to get on the holiday ball way before most people are ready. But when a big box retailer like Target starts to put out their stock, you know the season is here! 

 Now I know that the dude above looks like some Halloween ghoul or werewolf mannequin, but it's not. It's just some stock-boy doing his job. And what a job! 

Look at these fun boxes he gets to unpack!

The displays may only be a quarter full, but that was plenty enough for me to get a good feeling about this years' selection. On the top row of this rack was the Halloween Cadbury eggs that everyone has been spotting.

This rack has several types of candy corn, including an apple mix that has pie, cider and caramel apples amongst others.

The novelty selection hasn't quite filled in yet, and even though most items are repeats of last year, I'm still digging the gummy eyeball ice cube trays and the blue Frankenstein monster Chupa Chups.

These cheery jack o-cheese puffs were just grinning at me as if to say, "Yo, eat me." 

I just might, jack, I just might... 

One of my favorite sections is always the baking supplies. I don't know why. There is just always something so festive about the thought of making tons of decorated Halloween health destroyers and then gobbling them down as I bask in the blue flickering glow of Halloween 3: Season of the Witch. 

For some reason, I always am compelled to buy a package of those meringue pumpkin cupcake toppers and then eat the whole thing. That's right, I peel the egg white and sugar treats off the package and don't even wait for the cupcakes.**

Sometimes I put them face-down on my tongue and they leave a nifty little jack o' lantern tattoo***. 

So, here was something new to me. It's the Reese's Pieces Pumpkin Face Cookie Pizza. How could I not get that, huh? I don't even know what flavor of cookie it is, but there was no way I wasn't gonna partake. 

Come to think of it, I have to have that Haunted House Cookie Kit next to it, as well.

Oh, and I might have bought the caramel bits and pumpkin spice morsels, too, but I'll never tell, because I'm slightly ashamed at my excess... 

I did purchase a bag of Haribo Ghostly Gummies, mostly because I love gummies**** and why wouldn't I buy Halloween themed gummies?

When I got to the car, I eagerly ripped them open. Nutrition be darned, I wanted a bunch of candy.

The first thing I love about these is the vampire bear, holding an extra sprouty jack o' lantern.

The next thing to love are the shapes. There's a bat, a pumpkin, a skull, and a full skeleton.

I'm not sure why the bony members of our family get the most love, but either way, there's a lot to love, here.

 Each color was a different flavor. Grape, cherry, orange, and lemon are the palate pleasing choices, and none of them disappointed.

 And look at this detail. They actually sculpted the webbing in the bat wings.

 And you can practically count the ribs in the skeleton. The skull below looks like a reject from the One-eyed Willy concept art department. He practically looks like he's screaming at the concept of being bitten into pieces. Either that, or he's incredibly alarmed at all the warning lights that are glowing on my instrument panel.

 

All in all, I'd say that this is a fantastic beginning to Target's marvelous goodies and I can not wait to see what they have up their sleeves, next.

I'll end this by the pic below. You know it's gonna be a good year when even pedestrian medical equipment want in on the Halloween act. Spooky Craft Ideas, indeed... 

* yeah, I used to be in 4-H. I even know the pledge. I was a real cool kid.
** don't judge
*** you know you're gonna try this
****yes, I know what they are made of. I like horse hooves...

Strange Things are Afoot at the Kum and Go (A Halloween Oreo Egg Review)

 

 A bizarrely named convenience store might be the last place you'd expect to find Halloween goodness on the 17th of August, but if you should learn anything in this crazy world we live in, it is not to judge based upon appearances.

I walked in today, completely unsuspecting of the tresaures that I'd find. In fact, I just wanted a beverage. But when I meandered over to ye ol' candy aisle, I was struck with spooky spectacles! 

Now, at first glance of this picture, you may be thinking, "Yeah? So, what?!?"

Look closer.

We have all kinds of goodies, here. We have Resse's pumpkins, Hershey's Candy Corn Bars, and Cauldron Skittles. 

The Cauldron Skittles were interesting, but I wish they'd done more with the bag than put a cauldron at the bottom that looked like it had been appropriated for a LGBQT parade.

They tried to give some spooky flavors like Petrified Pear and Gripping Grape, but this was kind of a half-hearted attempt, if you ask me.

Where are the bats? The cats? The skulls? The pumpkins? 

The M&M's Ghoul's Mix was better. Not only did we get a cool mummy Peanut M&M guy, but I'm digging the colors of the candy, itself. Very Halloweeny.

Next, we move on to the spooky KitKat collection. There are four spooky bar designs, hidden in bat-encrusted, season-appropriate packages. 

I approve.

In fact, I bought one of the bars. I haven't opened it, yet, but when I do, I will post a pic in the comments. I know, what kind of fiend toys with you by purchasing a decorated Halloween candy and then not having the decency to even open the package and post the appropriate pic?

Well, one who has overdosed on extremely sweet new candy, which I will show you below, thank you, very much.

Butterfinger brought back their peanut butter skull Cups. I love these things, but I was on a hunt, today. 

And low and behold! There, stacked between the underwhelming cauldron Skittles and some groovy Frankenstein Bubble Tape, was the first Holy Grail of the year, this year's most celebrated new treat, ladies and gentlemen I give you: The Oreo Halloween Egg. *

Recently, holidays and eggs have gone together like toast and bacon. No longer just satisfied with Easter, Cadbury has decided that every holiday needs a creme egg. I wouldn't be surprised if soon they have an Arbor Day creme egg that you can plant and have a small tree sprout.

Not to be undone, Oreo has created a Halloween Egg. This one is smaller than your average Creme Egg, as you can see in the picture, below.

Obviously, I had to have it. I couldn't very well leave without having one of these eggs in my possession. I snagged it and went straight to my tasting laboratory (a.k.a. my car).

The first thing I noticed was the nifty little Dracula that overlooked the logo, like a protective vampire mother, watching over her little baby (or egg, in this case).

There are actually three different packages. The other two are a pumpkin and ghost. **

They all look fun. I grabbed the vampire by random, but will go back and get the other two before they are all snagged.

The description promised Creme filled candy with cookie pieces! 

Oodelally! That's right up my alley. I eager unwrapped it, and was... confused.

It looked like "chocolate". But the package didn't call it "chocolate". The package called it "candy". What was this sorcery?!?

Tentatively, I took a bite. Nope, not exactly chocolate - at least quality chocolate. I'm not here to slander, but there was something decidedly caroby about the texture and taste.

One of my first impressions was: SWEET!

I don't mean sweet as in the 80's term of endearment concerning something totally righteous. I mean sweet as in diabetes. This thing has sugar and you can feel it attacking your pancreas with every single caroby*** bite.

The creme was classic cookies n cream and there was a satisfying thickness to the thing. I wasn't disappointed in the bite that I took, but I wasn't sure I could take another. This thing is not something I will eat in one setting.

So, yes, I recommend the egg. It tasted good, enough. It wasn't amazing, and certainly isn't better than the classic Cadbury creme egg, but it's worth picking one up, if you see one out and about.

On my way out, I saw something that made my heart happy:

If you understand why this appealed to the Hallow-trickster in me, then we can be friends.

* which I will affectionately refer to as Boooreo!

** I didn't realize this when I grabbed my little Dracula****. I was in a hurry and just picked one.

*** Any claims that the shell is carob is completely unsubstantiated.

**** That came out dirtier than I meant it to.

Halloween Haunting 2 - JoAnn Fabrics

So this is actually why I went out today. JoAnn Fabrics is one of the many craft stores. Similar to a Hobby Lobby or Michael's, JoAnn's usually has some pretty good Halloween stuff.

I have gone a couple time this year, and they have been remarkably slow at getting their stock out. But today was the day, as you can see below.

First up: Pumpkins.

The store had a ton of pumpkins. There were ceramic pumpkins, soap pumpkins, wood pumpkins, carving pumpkins, fabric pumpkins... Sheesh, I'm sounding like Bubba from Forest Gump. 

Then there were these little beauties. Can you tell what they're made from?




That's right, freakin' feathers! What?!? Never heard of feather pumpkins. It sounds like something that would be chucked at Spiderman by a Vulture/Green Goblin hybrid. How many birds did they have to kill to makes these things, anyway?

From there, they had the obligatory general fall merchandise, sprinkled with a bit of Thanksgiving. They tried to be upscale, but were unable to reach the heights of Kirkland's.

 

However, they did have some cool mini hay bales. But $8.99, are they outa their minds?

 I love how they have an ad for gift cards right above a selection of seasonal socks. Not only that, but the socks were 25% off. Bonus, right?

Perhaps the greatest find of the day were these scented soaps. The ghosts, in particular, had an amazing mixture of fall and vanilla. I know those two aromas don't sound particularly complementary, but I'll tell you, they were great.

 I was tempted to picking up the ghost and one of the shimmery pumpkins, but they were $5.99 each, so I resisted. That turned out to be a wonderful instinctual thing, because I found the exact same dispensers, with the exact same fragrances at Big Lots later, for 2 bucks! Score!

There were some other cool finds, like these reflective flowers and corn, and I particularly liked this stack of black cats...

But the coolest thing I found was probably these paintable plaster of Paris body parts. The Mexican Dios de la Muerte skulls with the purple "Paint Me!" stickers on them. As if I needed any more prompting...

I was puzzled about one thing, though. How, exactly, am I supposed to paint these torsos? They were women's busts and they were right next to grasping hands. This made me feel a bit Hallowpervy, but I must admit, I was kind of tempted to get one.

 As I left the store, I saw one last amazing treat. I gotta have this skeleton chalk board. Just imagine all the fun you can have with this guy1

Adios, Jo-Ann. Thanks for celebrating the season like a pro!