The Monster Mash

Hello Boils and Ghouls. It's time to unpack that perennial favorite - that creepy cool king of Halloween - The Monster Mash.

Arguably the most popular song for Halloween howling, The Monster Mash is the one track that you can expect to appear on every All Hallow's party playlist. In fact, that venerable ghoul, Dr. Demento, called it "The biggest Halloween song of all time."

Catchy, fun, and instantly likable with a 1960's vibe, The Mash fires on all cylinders, and nothing can get you in the spooky mood faster than the opening creek of the castle door, the bubbling cauldron, the rattling chains, and those echoing footsteps...

The song was written in 1962 by Robert George Pickett, also known as Bobby "Boris" Pickett. 

Bobby got the nickname "Boris" because of his spot-on Boris Karloff impersonation.  During the day he was an actor and at night he sang with a Do-Wop group known as:

 One night, Bobby was joking around, and did a Karloff impersonation while performing with the band. One of his band mates, Lenny Capizzi, thought it was awesome and encouraged him to do more. In fact, ol' Bob (as he liked to be called*), did an entire monologue in the Karloff voice.

This led to Pickett and Capizzi to sit down and within about 30 minutes they had written the song. 

 The narrative is one of a mad scientist who brings a Frankenstein monster to life on a stormy night. When the monster gets off the slab, he does a dance, which becomes a "monster" hit across the country. Soon other monsters come to a party where Dracula laments the demise of his "Transylvania Twist"*.

The song was recorded with  a who's who of seasoned professional musicians, and dubbed them: The Crypt-Kicker Five.

Here are the lyrics, in case you missed them:

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash

The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"

They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash

Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist"

It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash

Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash

The effects were done on the cheap. The castle door creaking was a nail in a board, the cauldron and scientific equipment was blowing through a straw into a glass of water, and the chains were ordinary dog leashes, rattled and tossed about.

The song was immediately successful and cracked the top ten in December of 1962. Bobby was thrilled with the results, but was surprised when there was a revival of the tunes in the 70's. The song hit the Billboard charts again in 1970 and 1973. In fact, Pickett is the only performer whose original recording hit the top 100 three separate times.

To show you how much times have changed, the song was banned in Great Britain in 1962, for being too morbid... 

BTW, did you know that Pickett's original backup band was a group of young unknown guys called: "The Beach Boys"? 

There are lots of other interesting facts about Pickett and the song. The truth is out there... if you look for it.

Pickett kept performing the song live and fully embraced it until his death from leukemia in 2007. Here is a video of one of the live performances. It's really great to see him on stage with the "Ghoul of Cool", Zacherley. We'll talk more about him on another post.

Zacherley is a late-night talk show host, who made his own albums and was featured by Rob Zombie on his Halloween Hootenanny album. He recorded a ton of horror songs and is a must for any fear aficionado. 

It was so successful that it spawned two sequels: Monster Holiday and Monster Rap. Neither could reach the success of the Mash.

 

In the end, the song has become a staple of spookiness. Various books have illustrated its story and there even was a movie made, starring Pickett. It says it was written by the co-writers of Toy Story.

It has Candace Cameron as one of the main stars. In fact, I demand you watch it, right now:

The Monster Mash has been covered by over 100 groups. Here is a small sampling...

First up, is a Metallica rip-off, heavy metal Monster Mash version:

Next we have the delightfully punky version as recorded by The Misfits:

Here is a folksy acoustic version that I kinda dig:

Last, but definitely not least, is one of my favorites. We have the Master of Horror, Vincent Price, serenading some ghouls:

So there you have it. Everything you never wanted to know about The Monster Mash. Go get the album and rock it, hard!

*nobody ever called him that, to my knowledge. 
** which was also Pickett, doing his best Lugosi impersonation. 

M&M's Cookies and Screeem

Some days start off rough and tumbly and then you walk into your favorite store and find something new and suddenly, everything seems right and good in the world. 

Such is the case, today...

Introducing M&M's Cookies and Screeem!

Now, I know these are all over the web, but they aren't out at most stores. They were out at my local Target, so I felt the need to review them. 

First, why is it that I never realized that it's not M&Ms, rather it is M&M's? I never noticed the apostrophe. I did not realize that M&M's were possessive. Now you could call me a bad consumer, and I certainly wouldn't with you on that note. But I have to ask, how many of you noticed the apostrophe?

It turns out that Forrest Mars (of Mars bars fame) made a plan with William Murrie, the then president of a little company called Hershey. He wanted to make a candy-coated chocolate and needed Hershey's to provide the goods. Thus, M&M's stands for Mars and Murrie's. The exact title is M&M's chocolate candies.

Why didn't they use Mars' own recipe for chocolate? Simple. He didn't have one. He was inspired by a British candy called Smarties that are candy coated chocolate discs.

But what about these M&M's?

Right away, you know you are getting something special. The moment you open the bag, your nose screams OREOS! 

No, these aren't Oreo flavored, they are cookie and cream. But,  everyone knows that cookies and cream means Oreo.  Nobody looks at a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream and thinks, "Hey, this must be Hydrox* flavored.

The candies that come out of the bag look kind of like old malted milk balls that might have been sucked on a bit. They almost resemble moldy chocolates. 

Once you bite into them, they are nice mixture of candy shell, a dark chocolate layer, and then the creme from the cookies. The taste is generic cookies and cream, but there is something compelling about them. Let's just say that my bag is currently half-full**.

The flavor is yummy. The smell is divine. And this is a fabulous new addition to Halloween 2017.

*You can find out all about Hydrox, here.
**What can I say, I'm an optimist. 

Halloween Haunting 3 - MICHAEL'S Part B featuring Spooky Town by Lemax

Alright. So when I last left you, we were looking at candles and stuff and Michael's. You might wonder why I am doing a part 2. Why am I giving Michael's such preferential treatment? Well, the answer is Spooky Town.

Lemax's Spooky Town is the quintessential Halloween miniature set. Not only are their houses and sets of the utmost quality, they also light up and make noise. 

No matter how many leaves, pumpkins, or cats appear in craft stores, it's not Halloween until Spooky Town goes up. Michael's makes sure to put up a top-quality display, and it's really the holy grail of early Halloweening.

This year's display is up and the only disappointment is that the prices seem to rise higher than the raw sewage levels in the Hudson.

One of the trends that has been popping up in recent years is the addition of ghostly rides for a haunted amusement park. If there is one thing I love as much as Halloween, it's theme parks. This year's addition is the Ghost Around, and it is awesome.

I particularly enjoy how each rider is in a different costume. That's the attention to detail that enables Lemax to charge such a steep price. If you paid attention to the picture above, you might be tempted to think that the Ghost Around was only $34.99. That doesn't sound too bad.

Au contraire, mon frère. 

That's right, it's $134.99! Holy frijoles, Batman! Like I said, Michael's really values its merch. 

Look, I don't have a poverty complex or anything, but I'm not taking out a second mortgage for some Halloween gear. Unfortunately, Spooky Town is a spectator sport for me. I'd love to play ball, but I can't afford the equipment.

As we continue, we see something truly spooky, looming over the horizon.

That's right. They want $79.99 for the Broken Skull Bar. I mean, the bar is cool and all, but 80 bucks? What the $&%**($(#)%*?!?!

They really have some cool pieces, and if I ever win the Powerball, I might just blow the entire winnings on a massive Spooky Town collection, complete with those cool styrofoam bases they have their town sitting on.

Below you can see what a trailer park looks like, decorated for the season. Apparently the grim reaper lives there (Don't Fear The Reaper), because he's riding his chopper there. Wait, the Reaper rides a chopper?

Behind them is what looks like a knock off of the Psycho house, and a pumpkin water tower.

Another cool feature of this year's collection is the skull hot air ballon. It travels around, circling a crypt. Looks like a fun ride.

Next to the Witches Bungalow is the Creepy Neighborhood House. I almost bought this one. It has a freaking birdhouse! Not only that, but I'm pretty sure that's a zombie on the front porch. Plus, I just like the name. 

CREEPY NEIGHBORHOOD HOUSE

Seriously, what does this neighborhood look like? I want to see this neighborhood.

I'm pretty sure I left my dog at this place the last time we went to Florida.

 So Spooky Town is a winner this year. There are lots more figures and accessories, but I didn't take any pics of those because I was too excited about the light up decorations.

I love outdoor light up decorations. I don't know why. I just do. There's just something so... soothing... about seeing these things cast an orange and purple glow through the darkest of nights. 

Each year, Michael's has been stepping up their game in this department. It used to be that Halloween decorations were cardboard cutouts of witches and skeletons.

Then, one year, we started seeing Halloween lights. These early versions were really more like purple and orange Christmas lights, but hey, they were something new. 

I remember my dad being morally offended that they would dare put Christmas lights up at Halloween. It was a perversion. 

"But dad," I protested, "These aren't Christmas lights. They are Halloween lights!"

He just shook his head and muttered something about "those freaking liberals" and sauntered off.

Now, it seems like every house uses lighting to enhance their Halloween. There are lasers and strobes and projections, oh my.

Michael's keeps things pretty simple. They had some pumpkins, some trees, and a candelabra. 

BUT...

They also had these cool neon signs.  I should have gotten video, or at least made a GIF, because these things are cool. They buzz, flicker, and flash. I love them.

 Behind the neon were the projectors. They went on a cycle to show what each one did. I got a pic of the last one, something called: Comet Spiral, but looks like the aurora borealis.

I also got the first one, which is basically ghosts floating past trees.

They also had way more of those paintable plaster heads than Jo-Ann did. I didn't see any sext torsos (see previous post), but they had skulls, Frankenstein's monster, and jack o' lanterns, in addition to a pretty cool cat.

Speaking of cats.....

Apparently, Michael's has decided to plunge head first into the burgeoning "Pet's Costume Market". Most of these so-cute-you-wanna-puke costumes look frightening and uncomfortable.

I believe their models agree with me.

Seriously. Have you ever seen a more uncomfortable-looking cat? How are you supposed to seriously consider purchasing these things with that poor pussy staring indignantly at you as if to say, "You. You are the problem. You made them do this to me. Go ahead, buy this. Create the demand that will subject hundreds of my other brethren to such a blasphemous lack of dignity."

I don't even know if this is a dress or a jester's bib:

Hidden away at the bottom, like a forgotten ugly shirt your aunt Carol gave you for your Bar Mitzvah and you buried in the bottom of your closet, was a small canine concession. If you've ever wanted a squid to swallow your Pomeranian (which sounds much dirtier than I intended), then here you go.

Speaking of swallowing, I guess these are candle holders. They're pretty cool, but I couldn't see any kind of chimney so I'm not sure if you're tea light smoke just seeps up between the jagged teeth, or what.

Maybe they are dishes for Pecan Pie M&M's (available at Walmart now!) (No, I don't get paid for the endorsement, though I should).

Soon, it was time to go. I had a lovely time at Michael's, but it was time to fade into the gloomy August afternoon. But Michael's wanted to remind me that it was all in good fun:

True that, Michael's, true that. . .

Thanks for being a beacon of festive light in the middle of the hateful summer. Let the candy corn roll because fall is here!!!

Now That's What I Call Halloween!

And now for something a little different. Are you a Halloween newbie? Are you just starting your cadaverous collection of spooky songs and horrifying hits? Does the daunting task of making your own playlist fill you with... dread?

If the answer to these questions is, "yes", then we have a great way to prime the pump. Of course, I'm speaking of 2015's glorious release: NOW, That's What I Call Halloween!, from the fun fiends behind the NOW, That's What I Call Music series by Universal and Sony (often referrred to as NOW).

NOW, That's What I Call Halloween! (or as it will be hither referred to as NTWICH! in order to appease my carpal tunnel) is NOW's first foray into fright. Yes, they brought us such classics as NOW, That's What I Call Country!, NOW, That's What I Call Motown!, NOW, That's What I Call Music Volume 61!, NOW, That's What I Call Mum!, and the immortal NOW, That's What I Call Christmas! In spite of all these instant classics, they had yet to provide a Halloween compilation, until... wait for it.... NOW!

Anyway, I think it was worth the wait, as this is an excellent primer into the world of All Hallow's atmospheric songs. I think you'll agree that the track list is pretty impressive, so let's go over it, shall we?

	Halloween Theme (Main Title) by John Carpenter
	Dragula by Rob Zombie
	Carmina burana: O Fortuna by Leonard Slatkin
	Tubular Bells (Theme from 'The Exorcist') by Mike Oldfield
	(Don't Fear) The Reaper (Single Version) by Blue Oyster Cult
	Devil Inside by Inxs
	Bad Things by Jace Everett
	Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon
	Ghost Town by The Specials
	Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo
	Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Pickett & the Crypt-Kickers
	This Is Halloween by the Citizens of Halloween
	Season of the Witch by Donovan
	I Put a Spell On You by Nina Simone
	Beetlejuice: Main Title / End Title by Danny Elfman
	Ghostbusters by RUN-DMC
	A Nightmare On My Street by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
	Somebody's Watching Me (Single Version) by Rockwell

Now, that's what I call a Halloween playlist! We've got the creme de la creme of Samhain themes, the immortal Halloween Main Title. We have Werewolves of London, now with more fur. We have the crashing chains of The Monster Mash, more cowbell with Don't Fear the Reaper, and Rob Zombie's ode to yesterday's article about The Munsters; Dragula.

While these staples are absolutely fantastic, it's the off-the-wall oddities that I'm really excited about. Why go for the boring old original Ghostbusters by Mr. Charles, Jr, when you can blast the Run-DMC, remix?  Plus you have Bad Things, which just might be the dirtiest Halloween song that will appear on this blog. Seriously, that song is full of filthy intent and smutty subtext.

We will be going through all of these songs eventually, but in the meantime, you owe it to yourself to pick up NTWICH! and start plowing through the tunes. You can find it here: NOW, That's What I Call Halloween!

NOW, I can't finish an article without providing a video, or two. Wanna see a commercial for the disc? Of course you do. Here it is.

  
And HERE is a link to a youtube playlist so you can sample all of the songs before you get the album. 

Lastly, I am going to post a direct video of my favorite track, the grandaddy of them all, and absolutely essential for any night of trick or treating. What's your favorite? Sound off below.